In inviting a friend to his wedding anniversary party, the host explained, " We are on the fifth floor, Tower III and press the bell with your elbow ."
Ok, but why should I use elobow? " ask one of his friend
"I'm sure you're not coming empty handed??!! "
A man once went to a resturant where slippers or shoes weren't allowed. He feared that someone might steal his shoes so he left a notice:
(DO NOT TRY TO STEAL MY SHOES - BOXING CHAMPION.)
when he came back he found his shoes missing. Instead, there was a note:
(DO NOT TRY TO CATCH ME - OLYMPIC CHAMPION IN RUNNING)
In a geography class the teacher asks Jacob if he can point out North America. Jacob turns the globe for few seconds, then answers correctly.
'Very good.' the teacher praised.
Then, turning to another boy, she asked, ' John, who discovered North America?'
To that John answers, ' Jacob !! '
A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked: ' Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses? '
'Yes of course,' the doctor said, ' Why not?!'
'Oh! How nice it would be' said the patient with joy, 'I have been illiterate for so long
An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said: ' I sent my son in for one kilogram of biscuits this morning but when I weighed them there was only half kilogram. I suggest you check your scales.'
The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied: 'Madam, I suggest you weigh your son.'
A boy was making a hole in his book. When his father asked him why he was doing that, he answered: ' Because our teacher has asked us to go through it. '
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
' Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.' ''
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher. She's dead!! '
Wife: Doctor, Doctor, my husband's broken his leg.
Doctor: but I'a a doctor of music.
!Wife: That's all right, it was the piano that fell on him
Teacher: what happend to gold when it is exposed to the air?
Student: It's stolen !!